Dominic Ward's Blog

A few days ago I received a message from a close friend of mine informing me that he had been able to liberate a 12 packet of pseudo-ephedrine tabs from an unsuspecting pharmacist.  No sooner had this message been relayed to me by txt than the FBI had moved on his parents’ house in Maleny.  The feds took the family into ‘protective’ custody, but not before they had killed the family dog with a boning knife, poisoning 5 of the family’s prize-winning roosters with 10.80.  Locals reported a pall of smoke over the property for most of the rest of the day, as well as the constant movement of un-marked tanker trucks to and from the property.  Police have denied any such activity, but it has been suggested that they are simply afraid of repercussions from the feds if they get involved in any way.  In further news, a cold water extraction facility was found on level 24 of Brisbane Square last night.  Used to separate codeine from ibuprofen and paracetamol, the technique of cold water extraction is relatively simple.  First, crush you pills and stir the powder in a shallow cup of water (I use warm water initially to help dissolve the powder before placing the solution in the freezer to cool it).  Once the powder has fully dissolved, place the cup in the fridge or freezer to cool.  This won’t take too long.  Once cooled, the ibuprofen or paracetamol should be conspicuous – it will be clotted together as a thick white paste.  Simply filter off this paste by straining the solution through a coffee filter and drink the filtered liquid.  DO NOT partake of the white paste/sludge…it will be pure death to your liver.  Rather, feed it to your worst enemy.